Over the years, I've discovered some "secrets" that work for all my children, regardless of age or ability, and seem to be present in other successful homeschooling families.
1. Find curriculum your child loves
I've forced my children to muscle their way through curriculum, kicking and screaming the whole time. I thought it was a discipline issue. When I finally gave up and changed curriculum, the sudden and long-lasting change made me realize that the problem was the curriculum not the child. Find curriculum that your child loves. My children love the historical fiction of Sonlight. They enjoy the concrete/abstract flow of Math U See. They love the projects and activities of Telling God's Story. My little boys enjoy the tiles of All About Spelling. Try different things until you find the curriculum your children love.
2. Pay attention to energy level
Children's energy levels and flows are different from adults'. Don't ask for more than 60 minutes of seat time for a child age nine or younger. Don't ask for more than 30 minutes sustained on a single subject. Do things to break it up. Build in "recess" time and snack time. Alternate subjects that take significant brain energy (math) with subjects that take less energy (listening to a history book). You can also add "jumping jack breaks" in between subjects.
My youngest son gets worn out quickly with reading. I let him color for 2 minutes, then read 10 words, then 2 more minutes of coloring, then 10 more words, etc. If you spot any signs of sagging energy, like making more mistakes or moving slower, then you know you've gone over limit with energy. Stop what you're doing and try something different.
3. Read alouds
Reading a good book aloud is a never fail proposition. There is something significant that happens when a child hears a good story in the voice of the person they love most in the world. Find a book that is age appropriate for your child, and then read aloud to them every day. Many parents allow children to color and build with blocks while they listen.
4. Homeschool in pairs if you can
Our oldest homeschooled alone. We never did that again. When we buddy our children up, they do so much better. The quiet, lonely ones have a sibling to be with. The competitive ones push themselves to stay up with their sibling. Sometimes we have to differentiate for math or reading, but all other subjects are easy to combine when kids are three or fewer years apart. It just works.
5. Teach to weaknesses and strengths
If you have a child with specific academic weaknesses, it can be tempting to focus on that area. But then the child is spending huge amounts of time on something that is difficult and usually unpleasant. It works better to also give them time with a subject they are really good at. It builds their confidence, and may strengthen underlying skills that help the area of struggle. My little ones love doing Visual Perceptional Reasoning. They are crazy good with visual intelligence, but we do it anyway because it builds them up.
6. Keep a predictable daily schedule
I think scheduling issues are one of the biggest reasons families give up on homeschooling. The people who say things like, "we don't pay attention to the time, we can do school anytime," are usually the ones who end up doing nothing and giving up. Resist this myth! Set up a schedule for yourself and keep to it. It doesn't have to match anybody else's schedule, but it does need to be consistent. Our kids do better with high brain energy subjects in the morning and then activities in the afternoon.
7. Naptime
We've always had little kids in the house who need naps, so it was by accident that we discovered how healthy & helpful it was for older kids (and me!). Everybody benefits from some quiet time after lunch. Our younger kids lay in bed, awake is OK but they often fall asleep. Our older kids lay on the couch with a book, and also fall asleep regularly. And I get two hours with no one talking to me.
8. Do activities — art, science, cooking
With seven children at home, this is a challenge for me, but every time I take the time to do an activity with the kids, I'm rewarded with solid learning and big smiles. Artistic Pursuits has great art projects. There are many great science activity books for younger kids like Science Activities. Story of the World has a fantastic activity book that goes with it.
9. Don’t compare your hours to the school system
Many parents, new to homeschooling, worry if they finish before 3pm. I know it's hard, but don't compare yourself. The homeschool environment is so different from the classroom environment. Classrooms spend lots of time on lining up, taking attendance, attending to group dynamics, going to assemblies, etc. Your home environment may spend extra time on the child helping to make lunch, or going grocery shopping. Worry about your child's academic progress, not the hours you keep.
10. Believe in yourself
The last one is the most important. While I disagree that *every* parent can homeschool, I do believe that *most* parents can. Believe that you are capable. If you feel unsure, fake it till you make it. If you feel frustrated, try a new curriculum. If you feel tired, take a break. Keep experimenting, keep learning, and stay connected to your child. Nobody is as invested in your child's future as you are.
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Homeschooling After A Bad School Experience
We started homeschooling the same way as many, school just wasn't working for us. Actually it had gotten really bad. Our son's behavior problems had become so common that I barely paid attention any more. While he tested in the gifted range for IQ, his standardized test scores came back in the 15th percentile. I started reading about underachieving gifted children and their higher rates of criminal behavior, drug usage, and suicide. It scared me. It scared me more than homeschooling.
Our story isn't that different from many who start homeschooling after a bad experience in the school. Many of the children who aren't successful at school have special needs that are better met at home. However, those special needs require special attention from their parent and it's rarely easy or simple.
Here are a few suggestions in your transition from classroom to home:
Our story isn't that different from many who start homeschooling after a bad experience in the school. Many of the children who aren't successful at school have special needs that are better met at home. However, those special needs require special attention from their parent and it's rarely easy or simple.
Here are a few suggestions in your transition from classroom to home:
- Take one month off for each year the child was in school. Your child needs time to recover from the negative stuff they've lived through. By the time your child was performing badly or acting out in behavior, a lot of water had already gone under the bridge. They have to unlearn all the harmful methods they now associate with learning so they are ready to learn new methods that will be exciting and wonderful for them.
- Focus on anxiety reduction more than academics. Most parents are terrified of their children getting behind, or getting further behind, so they focus on academics. When we first brought our son home, I did too. In hindsight, I now realize that I needed to worry more about his anxiety and less about his academics. I put pressure on him that kept his anxiety up which slowed his capacity to learn. I've since discovered that children are hard-wired to learn. ALL children are hard-wired to learn. They don't need pressure, they just need a nurturing and exciting learning environment, and they thrive! In the first year, if your child shows any resistance or anxiety with school work, just set it aside and do something fun. I know it's hard, but it will pay off in the long run.
- Pay attention to sensory issues. Many children who have trouble at school have sensory problems. The classroom is too
loud for them. The visual is too overstimulating. Create a low-sensory study space for your child where it's quiet, the walls are subdued, things are pretty sparse.
- Have fun together. Homeschooling is so much fun but it's going to take a while to find your fun. Go on field trips. Do art/science/history activities together. Read books out loud to your child (even your teenage children). Play educational board games. Let your child choose a topic they are interested in and do a unit study on just that topic. Skip everything else while you focus on learning to have fun learning. Celebrate your homeschool adventure with a big "Not Back To School" picnic on the first day of the local school.
- Read aloud. One of the fastest ways to help your child realize that homeschooling is not classroom-at-home is to read aloud to them. Find really good novels and read aloud while they sit in your lap, draw, and build with blocks or legos. Sonlight excels at historical fiction that ties in with history study.
- Don't spend too much money. Buying curriculum is a lot of fun, but stop yourself. Spend the first year figuring out your approach, what works best for your family, what academic level your child truly is at. I have lots of workbooks that were a complete fail for my children. Instead of buying up a year's worth of curriculum, I wish I had a little more patience so I had money to spend later on the things that really excited them.
- If child had academic problems, move backward a few years. Even brilliant kids can get frustrated and overwhelmed in the classroom environment. If your child had academic problems, assume there are feelings of failure and low self-esteem you need to confront. The easiest way I've found to do this is to go back a few years so your child gets lots of confidence-building "you did it!" experiences.
- Commit to some real time. Your child needs lots of time to see if homeschooling is right for them. Often, one year is not enough time for a full transition. Many people pull their children out of school mid-year, and then give up on homeschooling by the next fall. It's like giving up on running a marathon when the training is only halfway done. There aren't many people who have homeschooled two or more years who don't have good things to say about it. Give yourself a chance.
- Find your child friends. Many cities have homeschool co-ops or park days or meet ups. Take advantage of these for your child to make friends who homeschool. Chances are, you'll need the support of the other homeschool parents too. ...Unless you don't and your child prefers the introverted life. Then glory in the space that homeschooling provides you.
A Learning Lifestyle... or why we homeschool
When we started homeschooling it was because of problems at school. But after many years, it's no longer about problems at school for us. If the local school was stellar, we'd still homeschool. It's not about anti-government conviction either. If that was true, we'd be okay with private schools. It's not about religious formation. If that was true, we'd be okay with Catholic schools. Our conviction about homeschooling is about something much more central to our family life and the well being of our children. It's about the rich environment of learning at home with people who love them and are invested in their long-term future.
Homeschooling provides a rich learning environment. Because my kids skip all the time used in organizing and managing a classroom, their education time is concentrated and potent. As a result they are able to study more without additional time or energy. Because I've had kids in school, I have a general idea of what is covered. In addition to what they would learn at the local public school, my children study foreign language beginning quite young, religion and Bible, history and science everyday, and read a lot more.
Homeschooling provides individualization. Lower classroom sizes are the hallmark of excellent education. Our classroom is pretty small — only seven (OK, that's crazy for homeschooling, but you get my point). It allows us to individualize and customize based on our children's interests and aptitudes. When my third child, a math whiz, was in the eighth grade she decided to study both Algebra II and Geometry in one year. When my second child, not so good at math was in the tenth grade, she once got to the end of a chapter and failed the test. We simply went back to the beginning of the chapter, did it again. The second time she did much better. This same child finds foreign language nearly effortless — she's studied Spanish, French, Japanese and German.
Homeschooling sets up realistic expectations for adult life. I remember the transition from the school calendar to a working calendar in my young adult years. Suddenly I was working over Christmas break and spring break and summer break. It truly was a shock to my system, and I realized how my expectations had been skewed by my school experience. Our homeschool schedule is year-round with breaks for projects like spring planting and harvest, with only occasionally vacations. Learning has become an intentional part of everyday living. Because my children don't have the physical shift from home to classroom, a homeschool day isn't significantly different from a break day; we're just working on different things. When we do truly have vacations, like over Christmas, they savor the time.
Homeschooling is about healthy family relationships. My children treat their siblings like friends, which seems different than the average family. It's not because they are inherently nicer kids. It's not because we are exceptionally better parents. It's because they spend their days with their siblings. Their brothers and sisters are their peers at "recess." They have the time and motivation to develop strong relationships. They have become each others’ best friends.
Homeschooling is about better parenting. Because my husband and I are with our children so much, it's made us deal with problems in our parenting. We've had to deal head on with minding, follow through, and being good role models. You don't have to be with children 24/7 very long before lack of minding just has to be dealt with. If my children were off at school and day care and activities, I think we could have avoided dealing with those problems and just complained a lot, as I see some others doing. But homeschooling has made us resolve these issues and we are all happier as a result.
Frankly, it's not all about the kids. Homeschooling is a lot of fun for me. I'm reading really good novels that I never read when I was young. I'm learning history again as I go through it with my children. I'm watching eyes light up as they figure out math problems. I'm sharing the joy of discovery in science experiments and the delight of creation in art projects. And I'm spending my days with the people who mean the most to me in the entire world.
Since we have started homeschooling we are are happier people and happier with each other. My children can explore their interests and know they are safe in their weaknesses. In the end, no one is as invested in our children's future as those of us who expect to be part of it.
Homeschooling provides a rich learning environment. Because my kids skip all the time used in organizing and managing a classroom, their education time is concentrated and potent. As a result they are able to study more without additional time or energy. Because I've had kids in school, I have a general idea of what is covered. In addition to what they would learn at the local public school, my children study foreign language beginning quite young, religion and Bible, history and science everyday, and read a lot more.
Homeschooling provides individualization. Lower classroom sizes are the hallmark of excellent education. Our classroom is pretty small — only seven (OK, that's crazy for homeschooling, but you get my point). It allows us to individualize and customize based on our children's interests and aptitudes. When my third child, a math whiz, was in the eighth grade she decided to study both Algebra II and Geometry in one year. When my second child, not so good at math was in the tenth grade, she once got to the end of a chapter and failed the test. We simply went back to the beginning of the chapter, did it again. The second time she did much better. This same child finds foreign language nearly effortless — she's studied Spanish, French, Japanese and German.
Homeschooling sets up realistic expectations for adult life. I remember the transition from the school calendar to a working calendar in my young adult years. Suddenly I was working over Christmas break and spring break and summer break. It truly was a shock to my system, and I realized how my expectations had been skewed by my school experience. Our homeschool schedule is year-round with breaks for projects like spring planting and harvest, with only occasionally vacations. Learning has become an intentional part of everyday living. Because my children don't have the physical shift from home to classroom, a homeschool day isn't significantly different from a break day; we're just working on different things. When we do truly have vacations, like over Christmas, they savor the time.
Homeschooling is about healthy family relationships. My children treat their siblings like friends, which seems different than the average family. It's not because they are inherently nicer kids. It's not because we are exceptionally better parents. It's because they spend their days with their siblings. Their brothers and sisters are their peers at "recess." They have the time and motivation to develop strong relationships. They have become each others’ best friends.
Homeschooling is about better parenting. Because my husband and I are with our children so much, it's made us deal with problems in our parenting. We've had to deal head on with minding, follow through, and being good role models. You don't have to be with children 24/7 very long before lack of minding just has to be dealt with. If my children were off at school and day care and activities, I think we could have avoided dealing with those problems and just complained a lot, as I see some others doing. But homeschooling has made us resolve these issues and we are all happier as a result.
Frankly, it's not all about the kids. Homeschooling is a lot of fun for me. I'm reading really good novels that I never read when I was young. I'm learning history again as I go through it with my children. I'm watching eyes light up as they figure out math problems. I'm sharing the joy of discovery in science experiments and the delight of creation in art projects. And I'm spending my days with the people who mean the most to me in the entire world.
Since we have started homeschooling we are are happier people and happier with each other. My children can explore their interests and know they are safe in their weaknesses. In the end, no one is as invested in our children's future as those of us who expect to be part of it.
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