Homeschooling After A Bad School Experience

We started homeschooling the same way as many, school just wasn't working for us.   Actually it had gotten really bad.  Our son's behavior problems had become so common that I barely paid attention any more.  While he tested in the gifted range for IQ, his standardized test scores came back in the 15th percentile.  I started reading about underachieving gifted children and their higher rates of criminal behavior, drug usage, and suicide.  It scared me.  It scared me more than homeschooling.

Our story isn't that different from many who start homeschooling after a bad experience in the school.  Many of the children who aren't successful at school have special needs that are better met at home.  However, those special needs require special attention from their parent and it's rarely easy or simple.

Here are a few suggestions in your transition from classroom to home:

1. Take one month off for each year the child was in school.  Your child needs time to recover from the negative stuff they've lived through.  By the time your child was performing badly or acting out in behavior, a lot of water had already gone under the bridge.  They have to unlearn all the harmful methods they now associate with learning so they are ready to learn new methods that will be exciting and wonderful for them.
   
   
2. Focus on anxiety reduction more than academics.  Most parents are terrified of their children getting behind, or getting further behind, so they focus on academics.  When we first brought our son home, I did too.  In hindsight, I now realize that I needed to worry more about his anxiety and less about his academics.  I put pressure on him that kept his anxiety up which slowed his capacity to learn.  I've since discovered that children are hard-wired to learn. ALL children are hard-wired to learn.  They don't need pressure, they just need a nurturing and exciting learning environment, and they thrive!  In the first year, if your child shows any resistance or anxiety with school work, just set it aside and do something fun.  I know it's hard, but it will pay off in the long run.
   
3. Pay attention to sensory issues.  Many children who have trouble at school have sensory problems.  The classroom is too loud for them.  The visual is too overstimulating.  Create a low-sensory study space for your child where it's quiet, the walls are subdued, things are pretty sparse.
   
4. Have fun together.  Homeschooling is so much fun but it's going to take a while to find your fun.  Go on field trips.  Do art/science/history activities together.  Read books out loud to your child (even your teenage children).  Play educational board games.  Let your child choose a topic they are interested in and do a unit study on just that topic.  Skip everything else while you focus on learning to have fun learning.  Celebrate your homeschool adventure with a big "Not Back To School" picnic on the first day of the local school. 
   
5. Read aloud.   One of the fastest ways to help your child realize that homeschooling is not classroom-at-home is to read aloud to them.  Find really good novels and read aloud while they sit in your lap, draw, and build with blocks or legos.  Sonlight excels at historical fiction that ties in with history study.
   
6. Don't spend too much money.  Buying curriculum is a lot of fun, but stop yourself.  Spend the first year figuring out your approach, what works best for your family, what academic level your child truly is at.  I have lots of workbooks that were a complete fail for my children.  Instead of buying up a year's worth of curriculum, I wish I had a little more patience so I had money to spend later on the things that really excited them.
   
7. If child had academic problems, move backward a few years.   Even brilliant kids can get frustrated and overwhelmed in the classroom environment.  If your child had academic problems, assume there are feelings of failure and low self-esteem you need to confront.  The easiest way I've found to do this is to go back a few years so your child gets lots of confidence-building "you did it!" experiences. 
   
8. Commit to some real time.  Your child needs lots of time to see if homeschooling is right for them.  Often, one year is not enough time for a full transition.   Many people pull their children out of school mid-year, and then give up on homeschooling by the next fall.  It's like giving up on running a marathon when the training is only halfway done.  There aren't many people who have homeschooled two or more years who don't have good things to say about it.  Give yourself a chance.
   
9. Find your child friends.  Many cities have homeschool co-ops or park days or meet ups.  Take advantage of these for your child to make friends who homeschool.  Chances are, you'll need the support of the other homeschool parents too.  ...Unless you don't and your child prefers the introverted life.  Then glory in the space that homeschooling provides you.

All those years ago when we pulled our son out of school and started our homeschooling journey, he homeschooled through the rest of 4th grade and all the way through 8th grade.  In high school, he decided to return to public school.  Now in his twenties, he says he wishes he had kept homeschooling through high school.