Many enter homeschooling worried that they'll be unsuccessful, just to have to problems arise and prove them right. Homeschooling, like parenting, can be pretty challenging, but just like parenting, a lot of love, creativity, and commitment will turn that around.
1. Resistance
The number one issue I hear from people is resistance. The child doesn't want to do the work. They complain. They take forever. And they do it all day long. What parent wouldn't want out of that nightmare?
We had lots of resistance when we started but we rarely deal with it now. What changed? We got to the root of the resistance and turned it around.
The biggest issue turned out to be curriculum. At first we got textbooks and workbooks, things that looked very school to me. The kids made my life miserable and I responded like it was an obedience issue. They finally wore me down and I figured I couldn't do worse than try something different. Everything changed! Then I realized how important curriculum is. I also realized that textbooks are just not fun.
Pushing too hard or not hard enough turned out to be a problem. Children learn at different paces. Homeschooling provides the freedom for children to learn at their own pace, but I didn't put that into practice at first. I kept pushing them, even when they had trouble, or I held them back when they had already mastered concepts. Relaxing and letting them set the pace removed many obstacles.
Learning disabilities can be lurking under the surface. I used to worry about this. Well, I mostly worried about how unprepared I felt to deal with them. But if you pay attention to your child, you'll notice naturally where their difficulties are and how they learn. Learning disabilities not only compromise a child's ability to learn,
but often fills them with anticipated failure so they don't even try. After lots of banging my head against the wall, I realized that my oldest child learns with creativity. Reading several paragraphs and then filling out a worksheet just killed him and the next day he couldn't tell you a thing about those paragraphs. But if I gave him an assignment to draw an Oregon Trail wagon train and then handed him a big sheet of paper and a book on the Oregon Trail, he learned deeply.
Frankly, resistance can also be a good old fashioned obedience issue. Homeschooling amplifies parenting problems, so if your child is generally defiant or disrespectful, homeschooling may be a wonderful blessing because it will force you to deal with it in a constructive and life-giving way, rather than let it fester until they are grown and gone.
2. Failure
I worried so much about failure in the early years and now I never worry about it. If a child doesn't master a concept, just do it again. My second child had a hard time with math. When she failed a chapter, I just had her re-do it. If she failed it again, then I knew the curriculum wasn't working for her so we tried something new. Done.
3. Isolation & Loneliness
Kids used to the constant social interaction of the classroom can experience some serious sensory deprivation when they start homeschooling. Some of this can be dealt with by joining homeschool co-ops or play groups. Many cities have homeschool meet ups where kids get together and play or do activities together.
But homeschooling will be more social isolating than going to school, and I don't think that is a bad thing. In fact, I think the volume of social time in schools is artificial and even unhealthy, as attested to by the many social problems including bullying present in schools. After leaving school as a young adult, I never again experienced the sheer volume of social interaction that was typical and normal in the school setting.
4. Money
Homeschooling is not free. But, let's be honest, neither is public school. Public school requires school supplies, backpacks, packing or buying lunch, locker fees, school pictures, sports fees, and many fund raisers. I also experienced that it required a different level of clothing & shoes than what my children were happy with at home. I know families who spend thousands and thousands of dollars on homeschooling curriculum, on-line classes, and community classes. I also know families who buy almost nothing and use the internet and the library as their information source. We spend about $1,500-$3,000 per year on our seven children.
5. Spouses Disagree or Are Unsupportive
Some people staying at home to educate their children (usually women) report that their spouse is unsupportive with either negative comments or complete uninvolvement. Just like homeschooling amplifies parenting problems, it can also amplify marriage problems. If your spouse is unsupportive, you've got a marriage problem that needs attending to.
6. Parents Don't Like Being With Their Kids
Some would laugh at this as a problem, but I think it's the number one reason people don't homeschool when they think they should. I've heard people say, "if the kids were home all day long they'd drive me crazy," but I've never heard a homeschooling parent say that. Now, maybe the only people who homeschool are people who really enjoy being with their kids (symptom), but I think the opposite is true, that homeschooling creates an environment where parents learn to genuinely enjoy being with their children (causative).
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